Full Review:

2x Tuesday’s: Ranch Corn Nuts!

Adam and Ben ate this on March 23, 2010

I had to drive to 3, yes 3, stores last night to find these for our photoshoot.  What?!  I kept thinking, like, “Honestly, how can you be sold out of these??  Who would eat ALL the Ranch Corn Nuts in this city??”  Then it kind of hit me – Adam and I probably bought all of them without even remembering, snack zombies, hunting for Ranch Corn Nuts, slowly marching to each corner store until we exhausted the supply.  Thing is, I can’t stand most anything ranch – just don’t like it.  And why the name “ranch”?  What’s the tie-in with…ranches?  That said, Ranch Corn Nuts are quite the exception to this rule.  In fact, they’re probably on my top ten list right now, maybe even top 5 – I don’t know, we have to call our on-staff snack concierge to pull up its numbers and see where it stands. Besides Diet Coke this is definitely our most purchased snack related item by far.

Did you guys finish the whole thing?

Ben: Uh, which one?  My car and office have empty bags all over.

Adam: I just finished sewing new sails for the S.S. Snakker out of the old corn nuts bags I’ve eaten……….this week.

Stand-alone snack or with something else?

Ben: Going with my stand-bys on this one: Peligrino, Diet Coke, or a frosty Coors Light.

Adam: for sure classic stand-by pairings which for me are Diet Coke (duh), Monster Khaos, and Throwback Mountain Dew. Classic Internet snack aficionado material.

Napkin needed?

Ben: Not really, I mean, if you used your hands, then yes.  I on the other hand hit the bag straight – but I’ve been doing this for a while.

Adam: I’m with Ben on this one. As any seasoned snacker knows that any snack with a crumb and/or added topping index above 3 on the SMI Scale (snack mess index) should avoid skin contact and be poured directly in your facehole for maximum enjoyment.

If you two were stranded on an island and there was one bag left what kind of situation would we be looking at?

Ben: Adam, you’re a great friend, really.  The book on modern lofts you bought me, very thoughtful.  But I would personally train a shark to attack you on my command, I would then challenge you to a surfing competition (because some how we’d have surf boards) and have the shark attack you while you paddled out.  It’s nothing personal, really.

Adam: Malatov coconut. ‘Nuf said. My precious would be mines.

If you had an unlimited supply of ranch corn nuts what would you do?

Ben: I’d attempt to solve world hunger – but I’m thinking there would be some health issues.

Adam: Oh Ben. Your always pulling the Mother Theresa card. It’s not like we haven’t had this conversation before. Olympic pool filled to top with corn nuts. Most relaxing day at the pool ever? Yes. Where else could we sail the S.S. Snakker proudly?